"When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was ..." joke

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Q: whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A:When you slap a mosquito on the head it stops suckin

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