"When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was ..." joke

Jim had a date with a really, hot blonde and in preparation for it, he went on the rooftop of his apartment building to get a tan. Not wanting to have any tan lines, he decided to sunbathe in the nude. Unfortunately, Jim fell asleep. When he finally woke up, he was sunburned more...

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...