"Where there`s a will" joke

Where there`s a will... I want to be on it.

It`s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don`t drink and drive... You might hit a bump and spill it.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Be nice to your kids... They will pick out your nursing home.

Always remember you`re unique... Just like everyone else.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Eschew obfuscation.