"Why Babies Need Lots Of Clothes" joke
1. Because baby eats. Eating is a messy job for a baby. If you wrap a baby in a towel sized bib... baby will find the tiny gap of space left around the neck and dump food in. 2. Because baby sleeps. Sleeping is an unplanned job for baby. If you don't have a clean dry diaper on baby when baby decides to doze... or even if you do... baby will figure out a way to sleep and still whiz on everything. 3. Because baby drools. Baby may look clean to the unexpecting admirer... but beware of picking up the little water fountain unless your clothing has flood insurance. 4. Because baby moves. If your house is spotless... baby will find spot. 5. Because baby has Grandma. Grandma thinks the little suit with ears and a tail is SOOOOOO CUTE!!! Not to mention the Santa suit, pumpkin suit, turkey suit, bunny suit, or cowboy suit. 6. Because baby grows. Size 1 today... size 3 on Wednesday... 7. Because baby things disappear. Even washing machines enjoy a light lunch once in a while. 8. Because baby has relatives. Aunt Bertha made a bright orange sundress out of wool for baby. Gee... let's see if the washing machine has eaten today... 9. Because baby hates getting dressed. If mom cannot get baby in and out of clothing easily and quickly during any part of any day or night... that set of annoying clothing will be gift wrapped and sent to one of the in-laws.. 10. Because baby travels. It is not humanly possible to carry around all of the clothing a baby will need. Therefore, stashes of baby clothing must be hidden all over the neighborhood. (If you happen to find someone else's stash and the clothes look cleaner... just trade... they will probably be too tired to notice...)
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