"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" joke

Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road …
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn’t have to cross the road, you’d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING. IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGc
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don’t dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
G3 300 mH Chicken: It crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4. 9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have backed up before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)
Lotus Chicken: Don’t you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there’s no way to tell it to.
Microsoft Chicken (TM): It’s already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
Newton Chicken: Can’t cluck, can’t fly, and can’t lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!
NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
OOP Chicken: It doesn’t need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
OS/ 8. 1 HFS+ Chicken: It had much more free space to cross.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! (aChicken)
Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like … chicken.
Windows 98 Chicken: It should have expected to cause a crash while crossing.