"Why Dogs Are Better than Women" joke

Dogs love it when you friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs love red meat.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
A dog would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster dinner.
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go twenty-four hours a day.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.