"Why Guys Have All The Luck" joke

A guy's butt is never a factor in a job interview.
A guy's orgasms are real. Always.
A guy's last name stays put.
The garage is all his.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
He doesn't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
Chocolate is just another snack.
He can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Foreplay is optional.
He never feels compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell him the truth.
He doesn't give a rat's ass if someone notices his new haircut.
The world is his urinal.
Hot wax never comes near his pubic area.
He never has to drive to another gas station because "this one's just too icky."
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
He doesn't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2,000; Tux rental $100.
If he retains water, it's in a canteen.
People never glance at his chest when he is talking to them.
Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle his feet.
Porn movies are designed with him in mind.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood... all of the time.