"Why Men Are Proud of Themselves" joke

A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.

We can open all our own jars.

We can make decisions without a support group.

We can leave a motel bed unmade.

We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.

Underwear is $10 a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes is more than adequate.

We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell us the truth.

We can sit quietly and watch TV with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends.

Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.

We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades.

We don't have to shave below the neck.

A few belches are expected and tolerated.

One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

We can do our nails with a pocketknife.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and be done in 45 minutes.