"Why Mountain Bikes are Better than Men" joke

1. Mountain bikes don't screw around.
2. Mountain bikes don't care if it's that time of the month.
3. Mountain bikes don't have parents.
4. Mountain bikes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. Mountain bikes don't care about professional sports.
6. You can share your mountain bike with your friends.
7. Mountain bikes don't care how many other mountain bikes you've ridden.
8. When riding, you and your mountain bike can arrive at the same time.
9. Mountain bikes don't care if other mountain bikes look at you.
10. Mountain bikes don't care if you look at other mountain bikes.
11. If your mountain bike goes flat you can fix it.
12. If your mountain bike is too short you can heighten it.
13. If your mountain bike is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
14. You can have a black & white mountain bike and bring it home to your parents.
15. You don't have to be jealous of other women who covet your mountain bike.
16. If you say bad things to your mountain bike, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.
17. Your mountain bike won't start going until you're ready.
18. You can ride your mountain bike as long as you want and it won't get exhausted.
19. Your mountain bike won't fall asleep after you ride it.
20. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old mountain bike after you dump it.
21. There is no limit to how long a mountain bike can keep going.
22. Mountain bikes don't mistrust you if you're an experienced rider.
23. Your mountain bike never wants a night out with the other mountain bikes.
24. Mountain bikes don't care what you wear.
25. Mountain bikes don't feel their bikehood is threatened if you insist on driving.
26. If your mountain bike doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.
27. You can ride your mountain bike the first time you meet it, without worrying about whether it will call you back the next day.
28. You don't have to cover your mountain bike with rubber when you ride it.
29. You don't have to worry about where your mountain bike has been before you met it.
30. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your mountain bike.