"Witness To An Accident" joke
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness:
The lawyer: “Did you actually see the accident? ”
The witness: “Yes, sir. ”
The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened? ”
The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches. ”
The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): “Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance? ”
The witness: “Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some stupid lawyer would ask me that question. ”
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