"Women Speak" joke

What Woman Say vs. What Women Really Mean
CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?... really means, "There is no way I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.... really means, "without you in it."
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?... really means, "We haven't had a fight in a while."
NO, PIZZA'S FINE... really means, "you cheap slob!"
I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.... really means, "I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now.
I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?... really means, "I can't believe you have nothing planned!"
COME HERE.... really means, "My puppy does this, too."
I LIKE YOU, BUT... really means, "I don't like you."
OF COURSE I LOVE YOU... really means, "just not in that way."
YOU NEVER LISTEN.... really means, "You never listen.
WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.... really means, "I'm not going to stay over until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.
I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE... really means, "I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will."
OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.... really means, "I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch."
I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.... really means, "We're gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.