"Work Phrases" joke

Things You Wish You Could Say at Work, but Probably Shouldn't
Well, aren't we just a ray of @#$%-ing sunshine?
Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
Do I look like a @#$%-ing people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
You! Off my planet!!
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.