"Worse Things" joke

One evening recently, a mother entered her daughter's bedroom to discover it empty. As she looked around, she spied a letter over the bed. With trembling hands and a terrible sense of premonition, she read....

Dear Mom;

Please don't be mad, but I eloped with my new boyfriend. I finally found real love and he is so nice Mom, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big Harley. Not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed says we're going to be really happy in his trailer in the woods.

He wants to have lots more children with me and you know that's one of my dreams too. Also, he taught me that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we're going to grow it for us and his friends, who will pay us by giving us all the cocaine and ecstasy we'll ever need and we'll pray every day for scientists to find the cure for AIDS so that Ahmed can get better. He deserves it.

Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'll visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Judith

After fainting, Mom came to and read the rest of the letter....

PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm next door at Janey's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the report card on my desk... love you!