"YOU DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN..." joke
* You ski uphill. * You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. * You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack." * You answer the door before people knock. * You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. * You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. * You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. * You sleep with your eyes open. * You have to watch videos in fast-forward. * The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. * You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. * You lick your coffeepot clean. * You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House." * You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there. * You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week. * Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. * You chew on other people's fingernails. * The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. * You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas. * You can type sixty words per minute with your feet. * You can jump-start your car without cables. * All your kids are named "Joe." * You don't need a hammer to pound in nails. * Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low." * You don't sweat, you percolate. * You buy milk by the barrel. * You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug. * You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
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