"Y'all jes' might be a redneck if..." joke

Ya've ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
Ya've ever heard a sheep bleat and had romantic thoughts.
Ya've ever hit a deer with your car... on purpose!
Ya've ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubba!" during a piano recital
Ya've ever stabbed the back of someone's hand while they were reaching for the last piece of chicken.
Ya've ever stolen toilet paper.
Ya've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
Ya've ever used lard in bed.
Ya've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
Ya've ever yelled "squeal like a piggy" when making love.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
Your dog has ever brought home something that ya cooked for dinner.
Your dog passes gas and ya claim it.
Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
Your high school annual is now a mug shot book for the police.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your wife has a beer belly and ya find it attractive.
Your richest relative buys a new house and ya have to help take the wheels off of it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her language.
Ya've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.