"Yo mamas so fat ... skittles" joke

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the freeway.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

So... the other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill
The "dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek
Not to be outdone, another more...