"You Know You're Having a Bad Day When..." joke

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.

You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

Your income tax refund check bounces.

It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up with your braces stuck together.

You put both contacts into the same eye.

Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.

You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.

When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your age.

You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.

You open your briefcase for the big meeting and find nothing in it but your 5 year old's coloring pages.

You are actually looking forward to sitting down and enjoying the junk e-mail sent to you.

You look into the car you just locked and notice the keys hanging in the ignition.

Your secretary tells you that a film crew from "60 Minutes" is waiting in your office.

You call your voice mail for messages and they're from your doctor, your mechanic, and the IRS.