"You Know You're from California When . . ." joke
* The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.* You were born somewhere else.* You know how to eat an artichoke.* The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.* Your car has bullet-proof windows.* Left is right and right is wrong.* Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.* Your mouse has only one ball.* You need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up.* You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.* You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.* You drive to your neighborhood block party.* Your family tree contains "significant others."* Your cat has its own psychiatrist.* You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.* You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.* More than clothes come out of the closets.* When "the Dead" are best live.* You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.* More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.* Smoking in your office is not optional.* You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.* When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."* Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.* Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.* You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.* You consult your horoscope before planning your day.* A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.* When all highways into the state say: "no fruits."* All highways out of the state say: "Go back."
Not enough votes...