"You Might Be Married To A Korean If:" joke

You own two refrigerators, and one is just used for storing Kimchee. She gets upset if you refer to the above as the Kimchee Box. She gets upset if you put anything other than Kimchee in the Kimchee Box. She lacks common sense, or for the politically correct: Faulty Logic. You have more than one type of Kimchee. She assures you that the meat bought in the open market is better, even if it still has the AAFES tag on it. Believes that any product bought in the open market is better, even if it still has the AAFES tag on it. She has 101 uses for Soju. She uses Soju as a cleaning product. She uses Soju for medical purposes. (Disinfectant.) She will go to an American restaurant to eat Korean Food and insists that it tastes better than served in a Korean restaurant. She believes wearing platform shoes is sexy. She wears a mini skirt in the winter, then complains that it is cold. The main ingredient in the food you eat at home is garlic. She eats non-Korean food with Kimchee. She won't eat spoiled food, but does not have a problem with Kimchee. You own a dining room table that is less than 1 foot high. You own more chopsticks than you do forks and spoons. She doesn't drink tap water until after it's been boiled, but she'll make ice with it. She thinks fish head soup is a delicacy. You can not watch TV on Mondays because the puzzle show is on. You can not watch TV on Sunday because Super Sunday is on. You don't rent videos unless they are subtitled. A meal is not complete without Kimchee. She won't eat American food unless served with a side of Kimchee. She believes that the floor is more comfortable to sleep on than the bed. You have an electric blanket on 356 days a year. You turn on a fan in the summer but still have the electric blanket on. You burn your butt sitting on the floor. You believe that controlled drugs can be bought over the counter. You go to the pharmacy to buy an IV. You do not own any chairs in your house. You refuse to own any Japanese products in your house. The only thing she knows how to do on your computer is play solitaire. Everyone she introduces you to is either a brother or a sister. Her immediate family moves into your house permanently. Everything in your house either has the logo Samsung or LG. She can't buy clothes unless they have a logo on them. She owns a beeper/pager that has a gold chain attached to it. She gets mad when you flush toilet paper down the toilet. She won't buy clothes from a store that is going out of business because she believes there is something wrong with the clothes. She believes that 1000 Won is enough money for lunch. She believes going out to dinner is going down the street to the Soju tent. You eat Ramen and kimchee for breakfast. You go to the open market to buy one thing and leave with both arms full. You own more than one type of Ramen in your house. She believes that Ramen, Rice, Soju, and Kimchee are the 4 basic food groups. You answer the phone in your house with "YOBO-SAY-O." You heat a dried squid over an open flame. You eat dried squid with mayonnaise.

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