"You Might Be a Cop if..." joke

People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room.

Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change.

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.

You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

You believe prozac should be added regularly to the water system.

When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to the food group.

You call for a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly toward you.

You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow over 150.

You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize a co-worker and shout, "They've come to get you...".