"You Might be a Cop If.." joke

- people shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room.

- your idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change.

- you disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.

- you believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

- you believe prozac should be added regularly to the water system.

- when you mention vegetables, you're not referring to the food group.

- you want to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide - getting it right the first time."

- you call for a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly toward you.

- you believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow over 150.

- you walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize a co-worker and shout, "They've come to get you...".