"You might be a redneck if..." joke

You might be a redneck if...
You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth... the rest was made in China.

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A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said more...

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And God created woman. And she was good. And she had two arms, two legs, and three breasts. God asked woman what she would like to have changed about herself. And she asked for her middle breast to be removed. God removed her middle breast. And it was good. She stood there with more...

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A doctor started having an affair with his nurse.
Shortly after this started, she announced that she had become pregnant.
Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount of money and asked her to go out of the country, to Germany, to wait out the pregnancy more...

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