"look at people`s shoes" joke

You look at people`s shoes to determine where they are from.
You`re anxiously concerned because you forgot your "just in case" disposable hypodermic needle in your other coat.
You "automatically" hand in your pepper spray at the door before going through the metal detector.
You are pleasantly surprised when there is actually wine in that bottle of Georgian Kinzamaruli. ( Not everyone gets this one, email for solution!))
You notice that Flathead`s cell phone is smaller than yours and you`re jealous.
Your day seems brighter after seeing that Goon`s Mercedes run into by a pensioner`s "Moskvich".
You are thrown off guard when the doorman at the nightclub is happy to see you.
Your not sure what to do you when the "Gai" only asks you to pay the official fine.
You wonder what the tax inspector really wants when she says everything is in order.
You give a 10% tip only if the waiter has been really exceptional.
You plan your vacation around those times of the year when they turn off the hot water.
You`re offended when your American friend gives you a "dozen" roses.
You don`t notice that Sony sticker on the front of your TV.
You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus actually uses Kleenex.
You are envious that your expat friend has smaller door keys than you.
You ask for no ice in your drink.
When you start using "davi" instead of "yes".
When you go mushroom and berry picking out of necessity, not recreation.
When you develop a liking for beets.
When you eat hot dogs for breakfast.
When you begin to socialize with your driver and/or your cleaning lady.