"26 more ways to leave your lover" joke

Leave up the lid, Sid.

Throw his clothes on the lawn, Dawn.

Keep wetting the bed, Fred.

Stab her and a waiter after nightfall, Orenthal.

Send her to Capitol Hill, Bill.

Tell him you prefer your battery- operated toy, Joy.

Put on her teddy, Eddie.

Vote him off the show, Flo.

Throw a toaster in the tub, Bub.

Find another Cruz, Cruise.

Stop taking your Paxil, Axl.

Tell him you're really a man, Jan.

Tell her you're attracted to men, Ben.

Tell her about her odor, Fyodor.

Have an affair with an intern, Vern.

Call her a skank, Hank.

Dump her on "Springer," Klinger.

Marry her off to another wacko, Jacko.

Keep saying, "Dude, you're not gettin' a Dell!" Adele.

Dress like a girl, Merle.

Say she looks fat in those pants, Lance.

Tell her Ashcroft won't let you leave, Steve.

Run off with her mother, Strother.

Bust a cap in her kitty, P. Diddy.

Add small quantities of mercury to her dinner every night over a period of several years, making her slowly, but surely, insane, Wayne.

Make too many bad rhymes, Tom.