125 Jokes

In the rural south, occasionally you will find an older gentleman who still uses a mule to make a garden.
Until he was 72, my father used one and contended that if you knew what you were doing with a good mule, you never needed a hoe for the grass.
Well, there was this old man who had been using a mule for years and it finally died on him. Seeing as he really needed a large garden to hold down food costs, he made a trip to see the mule dealer.
Admittedly, they are rare, but they still exist.
At the dealer's place he was surprised at how much prices for mules had increased in the last 20 years - mules live a long time.
After examining the available stock and the leanness of his wallet (he only had $125), he concluded he would have to settle for a mule almost as old as himself.
After extensive haggling with the dealer, they settled on a price, the old man made arrangements to return the next day with a horse trailer to pick up his purchase, and the dealer more...

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.

Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"

"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for' Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"

Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.

George asked, "How much do you charge?"

"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special more...

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I`d give $250. 00 to spend the night with that woman."

Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I`ll take you up on that offer."

She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment.

The following morning the man presented her with $125. 00 as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating "If you don`t give me the other $125. 00, I`ll sue you for it."

He laughed, saying, "I`d like to see you get it on these grounds." Within a few days, he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a more...

George and Harriet were married twenty-five years. They decided to
celebrate with a trip to Las Vegas.

When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young
woman dressed in a very short skirt, became very friendly. George
brushed her off rather rudely. Harriet objected, "George, she was
nice, that young woman, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?

"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it." In their room, George
called down to the desk and asked for Bambi to come to room 1217.

"Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just
enough to hear us, okay?" She did. Soon, there was a knock on the
door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips
provocatively.

"So, I see you're interested after all," she more...

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125, 000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.
The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her more...