2000 Jokes / Recent Jokes

A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:
"Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area, an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it."
EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER:
"By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years."
COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT:
"By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel more...

An Asian man walks into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and
walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen, gets $66. He asks
the lady why he gets less money this week than last week.
The lady says "Fluctuations".
The Asian man storms out, and just before slamming the door turns around
and says "Fluc you clazy Amelicans too!"

New error messages currently under consideration for Windows 2000.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)
Windows VirusScan 1.0 - Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)

A Short History of MedicineI have an earache... 2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A. D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

"Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B. C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B. C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A. D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A. D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A. D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2000 A. D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"