4th of July Jokes / Recent Jokes

After your picnics, parties, parades and other family fun make sure you spend this evening of our independence and celebration of our freedom blowing stuff up. Then, when the cops come, put you in the squad car, read you your rights, throw you in the holding center until monday morning until you're in front of a judge who berates you and slaps you with a $500 ticket, you can stand up and say, "I'm proud to be an American".

Happy 230th Birthday America. May the next 230 be even more prosperous and a lot browner.
- Mexican President Vicente Fox
Happy July 4th to the American people from your neighbor to the north (that's Canada, in case you've forgotten).
- Prime Minister Stephen Harper
On behalf of all our citizens I'd like to wish David Hasselhoff a speedy recovery from his recent injury. Oh, and also happy July 4th, America.
- Gerhard Schroder, Chancellor of Germany
Wish to express birthday wishes to good friend America. Have special present for you. Will be sending by airmail. LOL.
- Kim Jong Il of North Korea, via Blackberry
Happy Jew-lie 4th to the Jew-loving Americans and that Jew-loving Bush, who's probably a Jew.
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran
I would like to wish the American people health and happiness on their day of independance. As a gesture of goodwill, we will be sending back Michael. Do not argue. We insist.
- Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa, more...

A record 40 million plan to travel over the July 4th weekend. And on Wednesday, an estimated 20 million will be sent back to Mexico.