911 Jokes

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Sharifah is explaining to Pei Lee the bad day she'd had at work. Sharifah's boss had suffered a heart attack and died. Pei Lee said, "How horrible! What did you do?" Sharifah shook her head. "There was nothing I could do! He kept yelling at me to call 911, but he wouldn't tell me the rest of the numbers!"

Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill blonde appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?" The lady replied,"My phone doesn't have an eleven!"

A man frantically calls 911 and says, "help... my wife has gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart". 911: "is this her first child?". Man: "Of course not, you idiot... this is her husband"!

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away." Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Bubba said... "How' bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"