Abie Jokes

Abie and Moishe ran a Judaica shop on Delancy Street on the Lower East Side of NY for 33 years. Their once thriving business was doing poorly because almost all the Jews moved away and the neighborhood was now Hispanic.
Abie came up with a novel idea. Why not sell Catholic goods so they could stay in business?
Moishe agreed. So, Abie called up a Catholic good supply house on Park Avenue and placed his order. He said:
"Catholic Supply House. I'd like 100 rosary beads, 50 autographed pictures, and 75 crucifixes".
The supply house representative confirmed the order and then said:
"Do you vant the crucifixes mit Jesus or mitout Jesus? By the way, we don't deliver on Saturdays. We're closed for Shabbos.

Rosh Hashana was over and there was time until Yom Kippur, and Abie needed his tallis cleaned. He called his friend Max to ask what dry cleaner to take it to.
Max said, "I always take my tallis to Moishe the dry cleaner on W 4th. He only charges $4.00"
So Abie goes over to Moishe's and finds that the ownership has changed. He asks the new owner, Mr Jones, if he meets the old prices. Mr. Jones assures him that he does. Three days later, Abie goes to get his tallis and is given a bill for $24.00.
He storms at Mr Jones. "I thought you met Moishe's prices?"
"I did, " said Mr Jones, "$4.00 for the tallis, and $20.00 to get all the knots out of the fringes!"