Supply Jokes

During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe
for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a
supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a
train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find
a seat. He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train
looking for any place to sit down.
Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was
room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking,
older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her.
"Could I please sit in that seat?" he asked.
The lady was insulted. "You bloody Americans are so rude", she said,
"can't you see my dog is sitting there"?
He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat.
He found himself back at the same place.
"Lady I love dogs - have more...

Several days before Halloween, Tom, Dick and Harry were sitting in a bar enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided to get in on the Halloween raffle. Since the raffle was for charity, they bought five $1 tickets each. When the raffle was drawn a few days later, they each won a prize.
Tom won the first prize - a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Dick was the winner of the second prize - a six month supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. And Harry won the sixth prize - a toilet brush.
The next time they met at the bar, Harry asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
"Great," said Tom. "I love spaghetti."
"Me too," replied Dick. "And how's the toilet brush, Harry?"
"Not so good," Harry groaned, "I reckon I'll go back to paper."

A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup files and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Ten minutes later, the User is still adamant that they are right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
Ten minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS more...

The Supply Guy An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy. "You`re in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You`re in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you`re in charge of supplies." "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn`t you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I didn`t have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn`t find him." So then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn`t shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn`t get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn`t find him." The foreman is really upset more...

Experiencing problems with his computer, an incognizant user called technical support for assistance...
Technician: Good morning. How may I help you?
Customer: There's smoke coming from my computer's power supply.
Technician: Sounds like you need a new power supply.
Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. It needs to be replaced.
Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just have to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command.
For the next several minutes, despite the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...
Technician: I'm sorry. Normally we don't tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
Customer: Aha! I knew it!
Technician: Add the more...