Accomplishments Jokes

|------------------------------------------------| | My list of accomplishments for my first six | | years as the President. I will only be | | recording those good things that I have done. | | After all, the police and investigation teams | | already have a nice file on me down at their | | offices for the "other" things I have done. | | | | My list of accomplishments for my first six | | years as the President of the United States: | | | | 1. | | | |________________________________________________|

The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.

George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500
Past Work Experience
Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments in Previous Positions
Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.
Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 more...