Annual Jokes

Warren Buffett's annual letter to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders, mailed to them today, contains the usual mixture of anecdotes, jokes, admissions of mistakes and wisdom. Buffett says that companies looking at takeovers should beware of what sellers tell them; to illustrate, he tells this tale.
A man says to a veterinarian: "Can you help me? Sometimes my horse walks just fine and sometimes he limps."
Replies the vet: "No problem. When he's walking fine, sell him." (Warren Buffett is a famous US investor; probably the most successful investor of all time)
-- from Adam Starchild
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A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $10, 000.

The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure,

he replied, "I have this situation in the fire schedule rating table. The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?"

An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle.

And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. more...

Bristol Palin, the 18 year old daughter of Sarah Palin, visited the Today Show this morning with her baby son Tripp and her father Todd to promote the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.
Apparently Sarah Palin wanted to be there but she was off promoting the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Incompetence.

A man dies and finds himself standing third in line at the Pearly Gates. The Angel explains that admission requirements are now a bit more strict, as a few slum landlords and con artists have managed to slip into Heaven without being detected. He queries the first candidate:"What was your annual salary, and what was your profession? "I made $150, 000 as an Attorney" comes the reply. "You may enter" says the Angel. Second candidate, same question. "I made $95, 000, I was a realtor." He is also permitted to enter. Now it is the third man's turn. "My annual salary was $8, 000." "Cool!" replies the Angel, "and what instrument did you play?"