Ethnic Jokes

The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't know what please meant ...
* In China, they didn't know what opinion meant ...
* In the Middle East, they didn't know what solution meant ...
* In Europe, they didn't know what shortage meant ...
* In Africa, they didn't know what food meant ...

* In the United States, they didn't know what the rest of the world meant ...

A Cuban, a Japaneze guy, an American and a Mexican are in a boat.
The Cuban pulls out a box of cigars, takes one and throws the rest
in the water. He puffs twice and throws it in the water.
He says, "We have so many cigars in cuba, we can spare a
few."
The Japaneze guy pulls some computer chip out of his pocket and says,
"We produce so many of these, we can spare a few."
The American looks at the Mexican and the Mexican says "Don't even
think about it."

One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did hitler commit suicide?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the American ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle.
"Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and International scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"
"A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.
A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer...and no one knew what to say next.
Finally, Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said,
"Ma cherie, I believe zee Americans pronounce zat word, 'appiness."

Once there was a farmer who sired four daughters. After they reached
puberty, he fretted for their virtue and always answered the door with a
loaded shotgun in his hands.
One night he answered a knock at the door to find a young man standing at
his threshold. The young man said:
"My name is Freddie
I've come to pick up Betty.
We're going out for spaghetti.
I hope she's ready."
The farmer thought the lad's introduction intelligent and witty, so he let
his daughter go out with the fellow.
A few minutes later, another knock was heard. Upon answering, the farmer
encountered a second youth who said:
"My name's Vance.
I've come for Nance.
We're going to a dance.
Is she ready by chance?"
Again the farmer though the introduction and the young lad to be
acceptible, so he allowed his second daughter to go out.
Within a short time, a third knock was heard and yet another young man
was standing on more...