"Polish fisherman" joke

One day an Italian and a Pollock were fishing on opposite sides of the same river, but the Italian guy was catching all of the fish.
Eventually, the Pollock asks the Italian, "How do you get to the other side?"
The Italian guy says, "I'll turn on my flashlight and you can walk across the beam."
The Polish guy says, "Nice try... Just because I'm Polish doesn't mean that I'll fall for that. I'll get halfway across and you'll turn it off!"

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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- ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo
- Nan please, we're at granddad's funeral

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What`s the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie? One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

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