According Jokes / Recent Jokes
Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol
By Vince Sabio HumourNet Communications, Ltd.
REDMOND, Wash (UPI) - Software and marketing giant Microsoft Corporation (MSFT) announced today that it has purchased the rights to the well-known "trademark" symbol, formerly denoted as "tm" in most print media.
The symbol is commonly used to identify commercial product names that have not yet been registered with the U. S. Patent and Trademark Office.
"It was a natural," commented John Schexnader, of Microsoft`s Ministry of Information. "Several of us were sitting around after a board meeting a few months ago, and we were talking about what we should buy next. We were tossing around the idea of purchasing a country or two in South America, as kind of a follow-up to Sun Microsystems` trademark-infringement claim against The Island Formerly Known As Java, when it occurred to us that there are no countries named more...
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
According to police in Dahlonega, Ga., ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was
stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was
wearing.
Santa's Reindeer are girls and here's the proof:
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer, each year male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen. . . had to be a girl!
We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fatman in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost!
A theory is better than its explanation.
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.
Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) - Stafford Beer
According to my calculations, the problem doesn`t exist.
According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish & Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females that do so), male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen... had to be a girl.
(MM's remark: That could have fooled me; I never saw a reindeer stop to ask for directions...)