Admit Jokes / Recent Jokes

If you are willing to admit you are wrong when you are wrong, you are all right.

Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...
Dear Thomas,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy-will you let me be yours?
Maria
Dear Thomas,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,
Maria

"I refuse to enter a battle of the wits with you - it's against my morals to attack an unarmed person".
"Yeah, I'd love to f! ck your brains out, but apparently someone BEAT ME TO IT!"
"Are your parents cousins?"
"I know cement that gets hard faster than you."
"Your teeth are so yellow; I can't believe it's not butter."
"Sex with you is like using drugs. Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to admit it."
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed more...

Clinton's mail:

Dear Bill:

As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.

Jimmy Carter
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Dear Bill:

OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a fox!

Gary Hart
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My Dear Chap:

This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.

Hugh Grant
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Bill:

They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you!

Mayor Marion more...

A husband and wife were having a petty argument and both were unwilling to admit they might be in the wrong.
In an attempt to reconcile, the wife said, "I'll admit I'm wrong, if you'll admit I'm right."
The husband agreed and, being a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," the wife said.
"You're right!" the husband replied, with a twinkle in his eye.