Affairs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the doctor who had his license taken away because he was having affairs with his patients? Yup, it's a shame because he was one of the top veterinarians in the country!

... and pledges not to move alone unless no one agrees with it
Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Bowing to international pressure not to act unilaterally, the United States reversed course today and promised to consult with its allies before doing whatever the hell it was going to do anyway.
"Prior to taking action against any enemy nation, such as Iraq, we will confer with our allies, as well as other countries in that region," pledged U.S. President George W. Bush. "We will sit down with them. We will begin by explaining what our position is, and then we will...
"... no, wait. That's everything."
The announcement seemingly failed to address unease among world leaders that without their consent, U.S. action against Iraq will lead them all into a wider conflict. Bush, however, said his administration was well aware of international concerns, and would handle them internally.
Except for effect, the administration said its new stance more...

New domain names being proposed:
10..trekcontains audio files of William Shatner
9..billMicrosoft has bought this company
8..lovefor people who would rather cuddle
7..slowbased in a distant country with no T3 lines
6..geekassumes you know what all the acronyms mean
5..404we stopped maintaining our servers in 1996
4..y2kcontains theories about the end of the world
3..burnhuge multimedia files will crash your computer
2..*contains allegations about President Clinton's sex life
1..duhexplains, in detail, stuff you already know
And here are even more new domain names being proposed:
.spamSites which offer to sell you everything you don't want
.buzExcessive use of Java Scripts
.aniHeavy use of animated GIFs
.hotThe most current, up-to-date sites
.oldSites which are updated about once a year
.carData on the automotive industry
.dogSites for dog lovers; or really ugly people
.catFeline fanatics (not to be confused more...

There are two guys walking in front of a large church. One guy says to the other, "Just a minute, I'll be right back."He goes into the confessional and says, "Father forgive me, for I have sinned. I have had two extramarital affairs." The Father says, "You need to say 40 Hail Marys, and I also need to know if the women were members of my parish."The confessor replies, "Yes Father, they were."The priest says then that in order to receive absolution he, the priest, needed the names of the two women.The man said, "Father, I don't kiss and tell, and besides, I must leave them to handle their own confessions."The priest responded, "Well, was one of them Mrs. O'Reilly?"The man replied, "No Father, and I wouldn't say anyway. I've told you that!"The priest says, "Well, was one of them Mrs. Brown?"Exasperated the man said, "No Father, and I told you I'm not telling you the names of the women!!!"The priest more...

Cromwell and Rasputin
by
as submitted to
Dr. Richard King
The following essay was an actual submission by a student, who was given the assignment: ''Write a term paper
comparing and contrasting two revolutionary figures of your
choice. The figures are to be selected from different
periods of European history.''
Unlike most papers of student bloopers, which are collaborative
efforts, this one is the work of the exceptionally fruitful pen
of a single student. Read it and enjoy!
The English and the Russian revolutions had a leader
that stood out to have an effect on the revolution. For the
Russian it was Rasputin. He was born in the reign of the
Tsar-Emperor Alexander the Second, absolute ruler of over a
hundred million people consisting of fifty some nationalities
and speaking nearly two-hundred-different languages or
dialects. This empire stretched from the Prussian border to
beyond the Pacific Ocean. Rasputin was more...