Against Jokes / Recent Jokes

Czermaine Greer, leader of the feminist movement, called on the law-giver Manu and chastised him for his discriminatory laws against women, "Can you give me one good reason for prescribing that women should walk ten paces behind men?" she demaned.
"Dearest kanya!" replied the sage "at first, women used to walk ahead of their men. Then incidents of bottom pinching became so rampant that I had to make new rules. I prescribed ten paces distance between the two to make women's posteriors beyond the reach of men. I did so not to discriminate against women but to protect them."
Ms. Greer, who had been in Italy before she came to see Manu, complimented Manu for his sagacity.

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia. Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law. In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits. In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts. In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours. In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset. In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday. In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed. In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman. French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring more...

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to Heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to Heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

In Hartford, Connecticut: it is illegal to cross a street while walking on your hands.
In Ottumwa, Iowa: it is unlawful for a man to wink at any woman that he does not know.
In Los Angeles: you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Zion, Illinois: it is illegal to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other animals kept as pets.
In Carmel, New York: a man cannot go outside while wearing a jacket and trousers that do not match.
In St. Louis: it's illegal to sit on the kerb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
In Baltimore, Maryland: it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-storey window within the city-limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the cinema.
In Carrizozo, New Mexico: it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face.)
In Michigan: a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
In New York: it is against the law to throw a more...

While this is not comedy, per se, it should be noted that some sick humor can be found in the furor in the Islamic world regarding Pope Benny’s decision to publicly repeat comments made by a Byzantine emperor’s notion of the violence inherent to Islam and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad.

From this joker’s perspective, I would offer the following observations:

1. When freedom of religion and the right for open assemblies of non-Muslim religious gatherings can be commonplace in the Islamic world, then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
2. When Muslim terrorists stop bombing churches in Iraq and stop harassing Iraqi Christians seeking the free exercise of their faith (particularly women), then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
3. When the governments of predominantly Islamic nations cease their policies of persecution of non-Muslim faiths (most notably Iran’s campaigns against its Baha’i population and the state-sanctioned violence against more...

Why is it tough to compete against a vampire? Because theyre always out for blood!

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against. ... get this. ... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire
stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet
to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued. .. and won!! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance more...