Against Jokes / Recent Jokes

AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.
The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."
"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking over and over again must stop now," said former more...

It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes. No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00. Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited. Bay Village: It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road. Bexley: The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited. Clinton County: Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines. Cleveland: It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license! Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear. Columbus: It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday. Fairview Park: It's against the more...

Dumb New Jersey Laws
# You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only. [Reader Comments on this Law.]
# On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
# It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
# It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
# If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
# Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
# You may not slurp your soup.
# Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
# It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
Bernards Township
# It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
Caldwell
# You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
Cranford
# Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
Cresskill
# All cats must wear more...

One day Udu went to see a patient in the hospital. He had to climb up the stairs as the lift was not working. Half way he felt that needed to go to the toilet and by accident he enterted the ladies toilet. A nurse noticed this and here is the conversation both of them had.
N-Excuse me sir, this is against the rule?
U-No, No this is against the wall
N-Sir you did not understand, this is for ladies?
U-Yes, (turning at her) this also for ladies

[ Back to InfoLanka Jokes Page ]

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it."
"But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
"This is my position, and I will not compromise!"

Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to enjoy.

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.