Age Jokes / Recent Jokes
Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
In this elderly care home there was a guy called
Charlie who was 99 years old. he was proud that he was
99 years old and barg about it too. One day he gets out of
his bed and visit his neighbour and asks him " Can you guess
my age?" so, the neighbour John looks at him for a while
says you are 85. "wrong" says Charlie, "I am 99"
Now he goes to Albert and says, "can you guess my age"
Albert look at for awhile says and " you are 90"
"wrong" says Charlei "I am 99"
Then he visits his other room mate Fred, and says
"Freddie, can you guess age". Freddie looks at him
for a while and he says "you are 87". "wrong again"
says Charlie and visits his only female room mate
Dorothy and says "Honey can you guess my age" she
then says, " Come close to me Charlie" and then she
unzip and starts putting her hand more...
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
‘Are you the owner? ’
The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob: ‘We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication? ’
Pharmacist: ‘Of course we do. ’
Jacob: ‘How about medicine for circulation? ’
Pharmacist: ‘All kinds. ’
Jacob: ‘Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ‘
Pharmacist: ‘Definitely. ’
Jacob: ‘How about Viagra? ’
Pharmacist: ‘Of course. ’
Jacob: ‘Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice? ’
Pharmacist: ‘Yes, a large variety. The works. ’
Jacob: ‘What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease? more...
A reporter was interviewing a woman on her 100 birthday. She seemed an extraordinarily vivacious sort of person who delighted in recalling her past. She had lived from the age of the covered wagon to the age of the supersonic jet, and she seemed eager to describe it all.
While the interview was over she still seemed eager to talk, so the reporter tried to think up some question hat would keep the conversation going. "Have you ever been bedridden?" he asked.
"Oh dear yes," she sad with a slight blush, "dozens of times and twice in a haystack."
You have reached middle age when the phone rings on Saturday night, you pray it isn't for you.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.