Ages Jokes / Recent Jokes
A wife arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her
husband in bed with a young lovely thing. Just as she was about to
storm out of the house her husband stopped her with these words.
Before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came about. Driving
along the highway, I saw this young girl looking tired and bedraggled,
so I offered her a lift. She was hungry, so I brought her home and made
a meal from the roast you had forgotten in the refrigerator. She had
only some worn sandals, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you
discarded because they were out of style. She was cold, so I gave her
the sweater I bought you for your birthday - the one you never wore
because the colours didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out, so I
gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but too small for
you now. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and
asked;
"Is there anything else that more...
Women's Lifestyles Through the Ages
AGE... DRINK
17... Winecoolers
25... White wine
35... Red wine
48... Dom Perignon
66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17... Need to wash my hair
25... Need to wash and condition my hair
35... Need to color my hair
48... Need to have Francois color my hair
66... Need to have Francois color my wig
FAVORITE SPORT
17... shopping
25... shopping
35... shopping
48... shopping
66... shopping
FAVORITE DRUG
17... shopping
25... shopping
35... shopping
48... shopping
66... shopping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17... "Burger King"
25... "Free meal"
35... "A diamond"
48... "A bigger diamond"
66... "Home Alone"
FAVORITE FANTASY
17... tall, dark and handsome
25... tall, dark and handsome with money
35... tall, dark and handsome with money and a more...
> I'm sure you guys will find these amusing. ..
>
>
>
> > > >>>> Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
> > > >>>> (and what they actually mean)....
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 1. I think of you as a brother.
> > > >>>> (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing
> qo3^> > >>>> geek in "Deliverance.")
> > > Ui: 6>>>>
> > > >>>> 2. There's a slight difference in our ages.
> > > >>>> (You are one jurassic geezer.)
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 3. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way.
> > > >>>> (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid
> > > >>>> eyes upon.)
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 4. My life is too complicated right now.
> > > >>>> (I don't want you spending the whole night
> > > >>>> or else you may hear phone calls from all
> > > >>>> the other guys I'm seeing.)
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 5. I've got a boyfriend.
> > > >>>> (Who's really my male cat and a half more...
why do we sometimes call the middle ages the dark ages?
becasue they have knights
What's the difference between women at the ages of
8, 18, 28, 38, 48 & 58?
>8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story....
>18 - You tell her a story then take her to bed...
>28 - You don't need to tell her any story and take her
to bed....
>38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed....
>48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed....
>58 - You stay in bed all day to avoid her story...
The Geography of a Woman
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or more...
Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful! !!!!!!!!
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.
After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.