Ages Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Geography of a Woman
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She
is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland
around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan.
Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade
especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot,
relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She
may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm
and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost
the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now
necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide,
quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the more...

Age and Womanhood
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
1. Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there, but who gives a damn.
Age and Manhood
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
1. Between 16 and 26: Tri-weekly
2. Between 27 and 46: Try weekly
3. Over 47: Try weakly
Perfect Marriage
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Adam & Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about how well his Mother cooked.

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
(and what they actually mean)
(Thanks to Oneill for sending it to me)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone
calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)
5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same' solar system', much less the
same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than more...

What's the difference between men and women at the ages: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48
Answers:
At 8: You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18: You tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 28: You don't have to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38: She tells you a story to take you to bed.
At 48: You tell her a story to avoid going to bed; -)

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa. She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America. Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan. Very hot, wise and beautiful.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France. She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany. She lost the war but not the hope.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia. Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England. With a glorious past but no future.

CHEMICAL ANALYSIS


> > Element: Woman
> > Symbol: Wo
> > Discoverer: Adam
> >
> > Quantitative analysis: Accepted at 36-28-36, though isotopes ranging
from

> > 25-10-20 through 60-55-60 have been identified.
> >
> > Occurance: Found wherever man is, but seldom in the highly reactive,
> > energetic single state. Surplus quantities in all urban areas.
> >
> > Physical properties: Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) at
> > absolutely nothing and freezes at a moments notice. Totally
> > unpredicatble. Melts when properly treated, very bitter if not well
used.
> > Found in many states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
> > Non-magnetic, but attracted coins and sports cars. In its natural
state > > the specimen varies considerably, but is often changed
artificially so > > well that the change is indiscernable except to the
experienced eye.
> >
> > more...

Women
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild, and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled, but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like more...