Agree Jokes / Recent Jokes

An American will say, "Hot day!" A Canadian will say, "Hot day, eh?" meaning "It's a hot day, isn't it?" This is something deeper than spelling or pronunciation. It goes to the heart of the less-assertive Canadian character. The United States was born when Americans revolted against King George III and asserted their independence. Canada never came to a similar point of self-assertion and that little word "eh?" is their refusal even to assert that it's a hot day without inviting somebody else to verify it. One definition of a Candian is "a North American who refuses to join the revolution". Another way to tell the difference between a Canadian and an American is to invite the suspected Canuck to lunch and watch him eat. If he's really upper crust, he'll eat like an Englishman, with knife and fork held firmly in his right and left hands. He'll cut with his knife, pack the results on the back of his fork and convey the food to his mouth more...

"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could I let you do such a thing to me!"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too. Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree with the operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient returns to the doctor and says, "I think something is very wrong with me. more...

A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment. The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal." The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the food!" And he gets up and storms out. The psychologist ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and he starts drooling. The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don't you realize that you'll never reach the food?" The physicist smiles and replies: "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes!"

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his firstassignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervousyoung Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"The General, out for some relaxation, returned the saluteand said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?" Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going todisagree with the General, so the he saluted again andreplied "Sir, Yes Sir!". The General continued, "You know there's something about astormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?" The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just aprivate, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train." The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said"Sir, Yes Sir!"The General continued "I more...

It was a dark, stormy, night. Santa was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A Brigadier stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous Santa snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"
The Brigadier, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"
Well it wasn't a nice night, but Santa wasn't going to disagree with the Brigadier, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".
The Brigadier continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"
Santa didn't agree, but then Santa was just a soldier, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"
The Brigadier, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."
Santa glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!"
The Brigadier more...

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"
The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"
Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".
The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"
The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"
The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."
The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes more...

It was a dark, stormy, night. The marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A general stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, good evening, sir!"
The general, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said, "Good evening, soldier, nice night, isn't it?"
Well, it wasn't a nice night, but the private wasn't going to disagree with the general, so the he saluted again and replied, "Sir, yes sir!"
The general continued, "You know, there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"
The private didn't agree, but then the private was just a private, and responded, "Sir, yes sir!"
The general, pointing at the dog, "This is a golden retriever, the best type of dog to train."
The private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, more...