Airforce Jokes

When the AirForce 1 prepares to land, the Captain speaks over the intercom:
"The seatbelt sign is on Mr. President, would you please put the stewardess in the upright position."

An airforce officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of attmittance to heaven. The officer flyboy replies; yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two seabees harrassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentelman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this seabee to stand down. St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act. The pilot replied; about 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!

There's a Marine, an Airforce Commando, a Navy Seal and a Green Beret sitting around a campfire telling each-other how mean and tough they are.
The Marine says - "I can swim 50 miles and bite the head off a live chicken. One Marine is worth 5 other men."
The Airforce Commando says - "I can clear runways one-handed and kill a man with my bare hands. One Airforce Commando is worth 10 other men."
The Navy Seal says - "Yeah? Well I can dive up to 90 feet without air, and I'm an expert in demolitions. One Navy Seal is worth 13 other men."
The Green Beret just sat there all this time saying nothing, stirring the fire with his dick.

When the AirForce 1 prepares to land, the Captain speaks over the intercom:"The seatbelt sign is on Mr. President, would you please put the stewardess in the upright position."