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By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing the diskettes, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.
Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through more...
One day The Lord spoke to Adam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.
Adam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."
By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks.
1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing the diskettes, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.
4. Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by more...
Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run1. CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, shag is good. 2. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things, This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season. 3. GUESTS: Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that human's lap. If you can, arrange to have "Friskies Fish n' Glop" on your breath. For sitting on laps or rubbing against clothing, select fabric color which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white furred cats go to black wool clothing. For the guest who claims, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain; apply more...
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said.
Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first.
"Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you.
One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.
The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?
"God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time."
Less-Known Computer Languages Basic-Fortran-Cobol... Theseprogramming languages are wellknown and (more or less) wellloved throughout the computerindustry.There are numerous otherlanguages however that are lesswell known yet still have ardentdevotees. In fact these little-known languages generallyhave the most fanatic admirers.For those who wish to know moreabout these obscure languages -and why they are obscure - Ipresent the following catalog.SIMPLE... SIMPLE is an acronymfor Sheer Idiot's Mono PurposeProgramming LingusiticEnvironment.This language developed at theHanover College for TechnologicalMisfits was designed to make itimpossible to write code witherrors in it. The statements aretherefore confined to BEGIN-END-and STOP. No matter how youarrange the statements you can'tmake a syntax error.Programs written in SIMPLE donothing useful.Thus they achievethe results of programs writtenin other languages without thetedious frustrating process oftesting and debugging.SLOBOL... SLOBOL more...
Real opcodesAAC Alter All Commands AAD Alter All Data AAO Add And Overflow AAR Alter At Random AB Add Backwards ABC AlphaBetize Code ABR Add Beyond Range ACC Advance CPU Clock ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time ADB Another Dumb Bug AEE Absolve Engineering Errors AFF Add Fudge Factor AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary AFP Abnormalize Floating Point AFR Abort Funny Routine AFVC Add Finagle`s Variable Constant AGB Add GarBage AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer AI Add Improper AIB Attack Innocent Bystander AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders AISG Access and Improve Student Grade AMM Add Mayo and Mustard AMM Answer My Mail AMS Add Memory to System ANC ANnoy Consultant AOI Annoy Operator Immediate AR Advance Rudely AR Alter Reality ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero ARN Add and Reset to Nonzero ARZ Add and Reset to Zero AS Add Sideways ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI AT Accumulate Trivia AWP Argue With more...