Allows Jokes

Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.

This is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.
Here's how it works:
This device is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.
Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, the devices with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information more...

The next generation embeddable scripting language for the web!
JehovaScript (JS) is a powerful language with many advantages over
current scripting systems. Its features include active alerts, a
miracle system and error-collection. Rather than being defined as
DOM-compliant, object-oriented or nth-generation, JS is
Buzzword-Compliant, so your place at the forefront of technology is
guaranteed regardless of trend-changes in the world of computing.
Main features
Miracles
Each run of a JS program is entitled to three miracles. This allows
you to deal gracefully with unexpected problems: you can create the
needed RAM if memory allocation fails, or temporarily change the
user's browser if the current browser does not support a certain
feature of the language.
Polymorphic constants
Rather than create specialized logic for different situations, you can
change the interpreters beliefs about constants. For example, the more...

(Outdated, but still fun.)
DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz.
can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8
compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be
discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's
no longer available.
Mac Beer
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered
by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one
from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you
call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A
notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
Windows 3.1 Beer
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a more...

If operating systems were beer
DOS Beer:
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.
Mac Beer:
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
Windows 3.1 Beer:
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you more...