Ambassador Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."
The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game." The diplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play.
"I'll show you how."
He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex," he told the American.
"That's great," the ambassador said, "but it doesn't seem much like Russian roulette."
"Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal!!!

A shy bachelor was posted as ambassador to Peru. At a reception and dance given by him in the embassy, he spent more time with his whisky bottle than with his guests.
Emboldened by the intake of spirits he decided to ask what appeared to him his most important lady guest, to dance a Viennese waltz with him. The guest turned down the request with the following words:' There are three reasons why I will not dance with you. The first is that you have obviously had too much to drink. The second is that the orchestra is not playing a Viennese waltz - it is playing the Peruvian national anthem. And thirdly, I am the Cardinal Archbishop of Buenos Aires.'

The new American ambassador to the Far Eastern country called on the Emperor to present his credentials. During his official visit, he was disturbed by the presence of a number of comely, near-nude maidens wandering about the palace, but hoping to restrict the conversation to matters of state, he asked, "Your Highness, when was the last time you had an election here?"
"Ah," said the Emperor with a smile and a sly wink, "just befo' blekfast."

The new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They had spent the day discussing the progress the country had made with the Russians before kicking them out.
"They built us a power plant, an airport, and taught us how to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."
The ambassador looked pained and said, "Russian roulette is a dangerous game." "Right, that's why we invented African roulette; would you like to play?"
"I'm not sure, how does it work?" The African clapped his hands and six gorgeous black women, all nude, came wiggling in. "Choose the one you want to give you oral sex."
"That's a lot better and less risky than Russian roulette..."
"Not when one of them is a cannibal."

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in New York.

The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.

"I'll only marry you under three conditions."

"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.

"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."

Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"

The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult more...