America Jokes / Recent Jokes
TEACHER: Jack, how old are you on your last birthday? JACK: 7 years oldTEACHER: How old are you going to be on your next birthday? JACK: 9 years oldTEACHER: That's impossible! JACK: No it's not. I'm 8 today.TEACHER: Mike, go to the map and show me where America is.MIKE: Here it is ! TEACHER: Good. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Mike !!! TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes sir.TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you when you misbehave? STUDENT: Yes sir. But since I didn't keep my promise, you don't need to keep yours.COOL STUDENT: Teacher would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER: No.COOL STUDENT: Good 'cos I didn't do my homework.TEACHER: Alfred, name one important thing that we have today and we don't 10 years ago.ALFRED: Me !!! TEACHER: Are you chewing gum? BILLY: No. I'm Billy Anderson.TEACHER: In this box I have a 10-foot snake.STUDENT: You can't fool me teacher! Snakes don't have feet !!! HYGIENE TEACHER: How do you prevent deseases more...
Only in America are there handicap-parking places in front of a skating rink.
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it." Two dogs, please," said one. The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their' dogs.'The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
Once In A Plane 4 People Are Travelling They Are President Of America A Sardar Aboy Of 12 & Old Man Only 3 Parachutes On Board. Plane On Fire President Says That America Is Impossible Without Him So He Goes With 1 Parachute The Sardar Says I Am The Most Inteligent Man In The World So How Can I Die So He Also Goes Down The Old Man Says To The Boy U Go With The Remaninig Parachute The Boy Says There Are 2 Parachutes As The Sardar Took My School Bag
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.
So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.
The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her."
The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.
He comes back a week later beaten to shit.
"What happened to you?" said the barman.
"I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her."The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.He comes back a week later beaten to shit."What happened to you?" said the barman."I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!