Anchor Jokes / Recent Jokes

On the first day of Christmas my CNN Anchor showed to me
A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 5th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 6th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
6 Field Producers;
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 7th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
7 Perky Reporters;
6 Field more...

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?" asked the captain. "Throw out an anchor, sir." replied the naval student. "What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?" asked the captain. "Throw out another anchor, sir." answered the student. "And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?" asked the captain. "Throw out another anchor." replied the student. "Hold on," said the Captain. "Where are you getting all your anchors from?" The naval student replied, "From the same place you're getting all of your storms, sir."

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

I found the following report, from a ship's master, printed in the August
1987 edition of The Log journal - its exact history is unclear but I
think you might find it amusing.
Reproduced with permission.
It is with regret and haste that I write this letter to you, regret that
such a small misunderstanding could lead to the following circumstances,
and haste in order that you will get this report before you form your own
pre-conceived opinions from reports in the world press, for I am sure that
they will tend to overdramatise the affair.
We had just picked up the pilot and the apprentice had returned from
changing the 'G' flag for the 'H' and, it being his first trip, was having
difficulty rolling the 'G' flag up, I therefore proceeded to show him how.
Coming to the last part, I told him to "let go," the lad although willing is
not too bright, necessitating my having to repeat the order in a sharper
tone.
At this more...