Angry Jokes / Recent Jokes

The angry preacher...The preacher rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!"No one moved.The preacher continued, " Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in our heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression!"Again all was quiet.Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke."Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan.I told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the sheets."

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. "What'll ya have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you, I suppose," she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one gulp. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. "Yuck, that's nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,' Congratulations on your new location!'"

A bear walked into a bar and sat down. He banged on the bar with his paw and demanded a beer. The bartender approached and said, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana. ” The bear, becoming angry, once again demanded a beer. The bartender again told him, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana. ” The bear, very angry now, said, “If you don’t serve me a beer, I’m going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar. ” The bartender once again said, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana. ” The bear went to the end of the bar and, as he had promised, ate the woman. He came back to his seat, and again demanded a beer. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana, that are on drugs. ” The bear said, ” I’m not on drugs. ” The bartender said, “Yes you are. That was a bar bitch you ate. ”

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy? "I must throw that doggie out the window! "!

Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
How do you describe an angry potato?
Boiling Mad.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commontater.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful?
It's mashing!
What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry!

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.
Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
"He was looking through the window at us!"