Answer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Are you management material? Do you have what it takes to be an effective manager in corporate America?
Take this quiz and find out. The brief quiz below includes four questions and indicates whether you are qualified to be a manager in your employer's company. The questions are not that difficult.
How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, insert the giraffe, and close the door.
(This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.)
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator door.
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, insert the elephant, and close the door.
(This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.)
The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct more...

A little boy and girl were walking along a trail in the woods. The little girl noticed that some of the animals were behaving oddly.

"Little boy, why is that rabbit on top that other one"? she asked.
The little boys stops to consider his answer, and replies, "they're making cigarettes".

"Cigarettes"! she says, as they countinue walking along.

Pretty soon they approach a couple of racoons.

The little girl asked, "are they making cigarettes too"?

"Yea" says the Little boy.

The little girl looks around and says "It looks like all the animals are making cigarettes". "Why don't we make cigarettes", she asked.

The little boy was quick to say "Ok"!

A short time latter the little boy and the little girl were walking out of the woods, when she asked, "Little boy, what kinda cigarettes did we make"?

The more...

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History.

The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The M.C. stepped up to the mike.

"Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?"

Bob nodded with a cocky confidence-the crowd went nuts. He hadn't missed a question all week. "Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?"

Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn't believe more...

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled: "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?" Then she heard a voice from far, far away: "Hello! We're down here..."

10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.

9. I will stop sending email to my roommate/spouse.

8. I resolve to work with neglected children. .. my own.

7. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.

6. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.

5. I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear. .. I'm coming. Never mind.

4. No more downloads from alt.binaries.

3. I resolve to back up my new 10GB hard drive daily. .. well, once a week. .. monthly, perhaps. ..

2. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Net.

1. I won't try to get onto the Netscape ftp site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.

0. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support."

-1. I will read the more...

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell who accidentally ended up in a man's head.She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet."Hello?" she cried, but no answer."Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice,"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?" Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away... "We're down here!"

This guy walks into a bar. He is carrying three ducks and he places them
on the bar. He has a few drinks with his mate and then has to go to the
toilet. The other guy is left with the ducks and decides to make conversation.
"What's your name?" he asks the first duck. "Huey" came the answer.
"So how's your day been?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a great time. Been
in and out of puddles all day." The man says "oh. Good"
He then says to the second duck. "Hi. And what's your name?" "Dewey"
came the answer. "So how's your day been?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a
great time. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had another day,
I'd do it all over again"
So then the guy turns to the third duck and says "So, you must be Louie".
the duck replies "No. My name is Puddles and I've had a bloody awful day"
Brian